Having a Healthy Family

Pastor Mike will be speaking on Having a Healthy Family. He will in Psalms 127.

Sometimes in your mind there is the just give up mentality but don’t. Stay at it, stay strong, be flexible, be loving, caring, and always seek to honor Christ as you try to impact and influence children for His glory.

Today’s program is Hope Worth Having. This is Pastor Mike Sanders and we are delighted that you have tuned in to be a part of our program today. Thank you so much for listening and we know that God is using our programs.

We hear from so many of you. We appreciate you writing us and letting us know how God is at work in your life. We appreciate your prayers, your support, and all the ways that you are encouraging us is such a blessing to us.

Now today it is Mother’s Day and we want to say Happy Mother’s Day to every mom out there. We also understand that some of you your mom is in heaven. Mother’s Day is a tough day but we want you to know that God’s grace is sufficient and we’re praying and encouraging that the Lord will be there for you.

Some of you mothers we know that you have children in heaven. Mother’s Day is tough and it’s kind of bittersweet but we want you to know that you are loved by God and that Jesus is the greatest child caretaker than any person could ever have and one day you will be reunited with your child and I want you to know that you are loved and that you are cared for and Jesus understands your grief and he cares about what you’re walking through.

Today as we get into our time of our message we’re going to be in Psalm 127. We’re going to be learning how to have a healthy family. So many families are unhealthy. So many families are dysfunctional.

So many different problems. Well today we’re going to look into God’s word to give us the measuring stick and the guidelines to have a healthy family. so let’s look at Psalm 127 and I want you to write these notes down the first thing on how to have a healthy family is simply this if you’re taking notes dedicate your home and your life to God dedicate your home and your life to God look what the psalmist says right out of the gate he says accept the Lord build the house they labor in vain that build it accept the Lord keep the city the watchman waketh but in vain in the Old Testament when it referred to the house it was often referring to the house of Israel the nation of Israel and that’s why we see the connection where he says that accept the Lord keep the city the watchman waketh but in vain but our application this morning is simply to our relationships to our families to our homes and what this passage is simply teaching us,

that whether it’s the nation of Israel, whether it is the temple of God, whether it is your family, my family, our homes, our relationships, whether we’re single or married, every one of us needs to dedicate our lives and our homes to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Somebody might say, why do I need to dedicate my home to God, Mike? Because God created the family and he has designed the family and he knows how to make the family function at an optimal level. He understands what it’s gonna take for you to have a healthy home and a healthy relationship.

It begins by dedicating your home and your life to the Lord Jesus Christ. You say, well, I don’t have a big family and I don’t have a lot of children and I don’t even have a spouse yet, Pastor Mike. Listen to me, it doesn’t matter.

You dedicate your life to the Lord Jesus Christ. You offer yourself unto him. The scripture says in Romans 12, verse one, that based upon the mercies of God, I implore you, I beseech you, that you present yourselves, that you yield yourselves, that you relinquish your life and you yield yourselves unto God as a living sacrifice.

God has called us not to be a dead sacrifice but to be an alive unto God and that we offer ourselves unto him that we let go of our agendas, we let go of our plans and we say, God, here is my life and I offer it unto you.

And the idea of just offering our lives and dedicating our homes to God once and then we’re done with it is really not best. It is that we are offering our lives. lives, our homes, and our children, and our families, and all of our relationships every day of our life.

We rise up and we offer ourselves unto God every day of this life. The Bible says the Lord gives wisdom. From His mouth comes knowledge and understanding. Friends, you cannot have a healthy family and you cannot have healthy relationships without Jesus Christ being at the foundation of all your relationships.

He is the one who gives wisdom. He is the one who gives you knowledge. He is the one who gives you understanding. People say to me, Mike, I’m just trying to make it through life. Well friends, if you want to make it through life and navigate through this world and all the complexities of relationships, then you must have the wisdom of the world.

Amen. People are difficult Because they’re made in different ways and they’re going through different phases and different seasons in their lives And there’s a lot of complexity in their life And so what happens in our life is that when we struggle in our relationships?

We usually just burn the bridge and we just say we’re gonna isolate those people out of our lives But let me tell you something You’re gonna die alone eventually Because all relationships are going to struggle whether it’s a husband and wife whether it’s children and parents Whether it’s the employer employee all relationships are going to struggle But if you have the wisdom of the Lord if you’ve dedicated your life to God if you have given your home to God Then you will have the wisdom of God and the knowledge of God and the understanding of God God must inspire My decisions he must empower my choices as I am building this life for him as I am building this home for him as I am building this family all Relationships must be built upon the foundation of Christ.

Here’s how our world tells you to build your Relationships they say start off with the flesh Start off with being physical That’s what the world tells you to do and then become friends and then become committed to one another But here’s what Jesus says that you first start off building a relationship on the foundation of the Lord Jesus Christ The second thing I would encourage you to do if you want to build a healthy family is trust God to provide for your family Look at verse 2 It is vain for you to rise up early to sit up late to eat the bread of sorrows for so he giveth his beloved sleep The point of this verse is that God does not want you and I to work 24 7 to where we exhaust ourselves and that we’re constantly working,

neglecting our relationships, neglecting our family, neglecting our children, neglecting important people in our life. The Bible tells us, Jesus himself said in Matthew 6 .25, therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you’ll eat, what you’ll drink, nor about your body, what you will put on is not life more than food and the body more than clothing.

If we’re to build our family, if we’re to build our relationships, then they must be a priority in our life. That’s what verse two is talking about, that if you labor all the time, if you are always doing and you think, man, I’ve got to do this so I can get more, I’ve got to do this so I can keep up with the Joneses, I’ve got to do this so I can have what I want.

then here’s the thing is that your relationships get neglected they’re on the back burner and people say what went wrong not only dedicate your home but trust god to provide for your family thirdly i would encourage you to recognize children as a blessing from god look at verse three the bible says low children are a heritage of the lord and the fruit of the womb is his reward i don’t have to tell you in our society that not everyone looks at children as a blessing some people see them as a burden even in the church it is sad to see that churches and people god’s people could look at children as a burden many times the young families will say to me pastor does my baby crying in the auditorium bother you absolutely not it might bother you and it might bother others but it doesn’t bother me i want a church packed out with a lot of children amen i want there to be young families and yes the kids are wrestling and yes they’re learning how to sit and it’s all part of the process i mean kids don’t come into this world perfect as a matter of fact i know it’s hard for grandparents to believe this but our children come in grandchildren come into this world sinful and selfish yes they do i don’t want you grandparents changing your theology okay all children are born sinful and selfish they have to be trained they have to be equipped they have to be taught but that’s part of the process and i know that kids can be challenging and i know it’s not easy to deal with the children but the bible tells us that children are a reward that they are a heritage they are a blessing let’s talk about that little real quick children are a heritage of the lord now get this Some of you are working hard on perpetuating your legacy.

But children are the heritage, if you will, legacy of the Lord. They are the legacy. It is the children who carry on the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is the children who carry on the cause of Jesus Christ.

It is the children who will carry on the work of the Lord Jesus Christ on this earth. When we see our children, we see them as a heritage unto the Lord. We desire their salvation. We pray for their salvation.

We realize that children are entrusted to us from God and that it is our responsibility to work in their lives to help them understand the gospel and to receive Christ as their Lord and Savior. Every child must make their own decision.

Every child must respond personally. to the Lord Jesus Christ. Just because you’re born into the church leaders family doesn’t make you a Christian. You must come to Christ and humble yourselves and you must repent of your sins and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ.

You must come and have faith in Christ and what he did on the cross for your salvation. You don’t get to hang on to the coattails of your parents because they were Sunday school teachers or Bible study leaders or small group leaders, every child must make a decision for Christ.

But we as parents realize that we have a sacred responsibility that when God has entrusted us children, that it is our responsibility. But we even as a church family have a sacred responsibility, don’t we?

We have a responsibility to minister to these children. We have a responsibility to train these children, to care for them and to direct their lives. The Bible says not only are children a heritage, but the Bible says that they are a reward.

They are a reward. Again, look at our text. The fruit of the womb is his reward. Children are a reward. What does that mean? It means that children are not only a blessing from God, but they are a joy to parents.

There is nothing more rewarding to see your children love Jesus, is there? There’s nothing more rewarding to see your grandchildren follow Christ. There’s nothing more rewarding to see your children to grow and to be functional and able to live in society and to contribute and to give back to our community and to give back to the churches, to see your children grow and serve the Lord and love the Lord and live for the Lord.

This is very rewarding in our hearts. And this is why we give. the time, the effort, and we understand the need to invest and to put great time in to the life of our children. And we recognize that every child is created with potential, and they are created with a purpose from God.

They are created with a purpose from God. God brought this child into this world. We value every life because God has a plan. The quantity of a life does not determine the quality of life. Whatever that lifespan is, God has a purpose.

God is using that child, and we want to help direct that child to follow God’s purpose for their life. We want to see that child that was created that is a masterpiece of God. We want to see that child live out their talents, their gifts, their abilities, and to follow the great plan that God has for their life.

The psalmist said in Psalm 139, verse 13 and 14, for you formed my inward parts. You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well.

And the psalmist is saying, look, when I look at my life and I see the handy work of God, even from the moment of conception in my mother’s womb, I can see God designing and I can see God gifting and I can see how God has equipped me that I might bring glory to his name and that I might be used for his cause and purpose in this world.

Now let’s talk about my final point. Don’t get too excited. I have several sub points, but I’ll get you out of here before three o ‘clock so you can have lunch with mother. I promise you, be patient.

If you’re taking notes, prepare your children to make a difference. Again, I wanna say this to all moms and dads, grandparents, but I also wanna say to you that are single, your children are already grown up, and even to those that may not have children, that all of us still have a responsibility to prepare children to make a difference.

And I just wanna illustrate that, that as a young man, I came to Christ. As a little boy, I rode a bus. The preacher showed up where my mother worked. He invited her. She said, no, but she said, I got some kids that definitely they need a little religion in their life.

They’re a mess. So praise God, we got on the bus. We went to church. The deacons were out there in the back. And as we walked in the church, they welcomed us. They shook our hands and they took us and sat us on the front row.

What are you doing on the front row, Mike? I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to be on the front row. I didn’t know mature Christians sit in the back. I didn’t know all that I didn’t know as you grow in your faith you move farther farther back to the church all right these things were oblivious to me but the deacons in their wisdom put me right on the front row apparently thinking that somehow we needed to get as close to the preacher as possible but the preacher preached he preached Jesus he preached heaven he preached hell he preached salvation and I’d never heard about Jesus and never heard about the Bible never heard about God but his spirit that day spoke to my heart and said Mike you need to give your life to Jesus and I was only 11 years old and I’m telling you I understood it as that clear in my mind through the power of the Spirit and his word and I went forward and received Christ but here’s what I want you understand is that the church stepped up and the church loved us and the church equipped my brother and sister and I and the church helped us,

prepare us for all of us today, all three of those children that walked into that church, all three in church today, all three married to godly spouses, all three who have children today who love the Lord and have received Christ and have been baptized.

Why? Because a church didn’t say, well, they’re not my kids. Well, we don’t know if they’ll last or not, but a church stood up and said, these are children sent to us by God and we have a responsibility to prepare them.

So as I preach these truths to you, it is not just for a mom, it’s not just for a dad, it’s for all of us church family, that we love on children and that we step into their lives, not step out, that we are willing to take the initiative to make a difference in the life of a child.

Look at verse four and five, powerful truths here. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man, so are children of the youth. And happy is the man that have his quiver full of them. They shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gates.

I like to say in verse five, happy is the church that has a full amount, a large amount of children in its ministry, amen. Now let’s talk about these arrows because the arrows are the children. And what is the purpose of the arrows?

The arrows are designed that they may be able to shoot. They are arrows designed to fly. And there are three things that I want you to write down this morning about these arrows that are essential to us directing and helping children to make a difference.

Number one, the aim must be true and clear. The aim must be true and clear. Number two. the bow must be strong and bent and number three the arrow has to be released and sent and this will help every mom and dad and every person that ministers to children as they are trying to help each and prepare each child to make a difference in this world.

The aim must be true and clear that children are arrows and they must be directed towards a goal. I was at the cracker barrel and I know this is hard to believe but yes I was there and yes I did have double meat breakfast, over easy on the eggs, all bacon, three pieces of toast and a sweet tea.

That’s my order. Yes sir, I just love that but anyways I was witnessing to this lady I was inviting her to come to church and I was inviting her to bring her children and she said oh no no no no. I don’t tell my children what to do.

I don’t tell them to go to church. They have to make those decisions themselves. Now listen to me. This is what’s the problem with parenting. Okay, we don’t take initiative and we’re not intentional.

And we leave children to themselves thinking somehow they’ll figure it out. Now the Bible says foolishness is wrapped up in the heart of a child. Okay? And so children, they don’t know which way to go.

You and I have to help give them a goal. We have to give them an aim. When I, as a young man, at 16, I surrendered to be in the ministry and my pastor immediately stepped in and he said, Mike, a call to ministry is a call to preparation.

This is what you need to do. He did not say, Mike, you just figure it out on your own. And I hope that you do well. But he stepped into my life because I did not know what to do. The preacher just said, come and surrender your life to ministry.

God’s calling you. And I said, okay, here am I, send me, Lord. Here am I, Matt. I don’t know what to do. And the preacher stepped in and said, you now have to go to Bible college. You now have to go get ready.

And here’s where I’m gonna recommend you to go. And I just did what the pastor said because I thought he knew what he was talking about. Amen? And that’s what I’m trying to say when it comes to parenting.

You have to give the aim, the goals, true and clear to your children and your grandchildren and all children. And you have to help them to see where they are going and what they need to do. It’s not that we’re the boss of their life.

It’s not that we’re trying to control their life, but we are trying to aim them in the right direction because I tell you that if you will not help aim them in the right direction, the devil will. And the world will, and the flesh will make a lot of bad decisions and they’ll go a lot of wrong directions in their life.

So parents. step up, children’s workers, step up and help the young people see this is the right direction to go in life. And let me say this to all children, if your mother and your father ever stepped into your life to help give you direction and show you a God honoring goal and a God honoring aim, you ought to stand up and give them a big hug, amen?

Don’t be complaining and whining and crying and saying, I don’t want my mother telling me what to do. Well, praise God, you got your mom to tell you what to do. The aim must be true and clear, the bow must be strong and bent.

When we pull the arrow out of the quiver and we are aiming it in the right direction, we need a bow that is strong so that when we pull that arrow back, it can be able to help launch that child The bow cannot be fragile.

The bow cannot be weak. It must be strong. And moms and dad, as you are instructing and training, you must have a strong and a firm bow. But I also wanna tell you, it must be flexible. Parenting is about understanding the difference to being firm and flexible.

Understanding that there are times you are strong and immovable and there are times that you bend. That understanding that you say, Mike, when, when the Holy Spirit, the word of God will help you to know that moms and dads and children’s workers and all of us is that our job is to give our children roots that are strong and deep and wings that’ll help launch them into the future.

So the bow must be strong and it must be bent and the arrow has to be released and sent. And I know this is hard moms and dads, but you don’t raise your kids to hold on to them forever. If you’re raising your kid so they’ll never leave your home, you are doing a disservice to them.

You raise them up so that they can achieve what God has. You pull that arrow back and then you have to have the courage and the faith and the confidence that all that you’ve done for them is now that you release them and send them out to do what God has called them to do.

And that’s what you gotta do. You gotta release, you gotta let go. You say, but Mike, they make so many bad decisions. That’s wonderful. Because you know what, they’re gonna learn. And sometimes we have to fall on our face before we learn, right?

I didn’t learn riding a bike by not falling. I learned how to ride a bike by keep skinning my knees, by keep falling down. I learned how to play baseball by striking out. I learned how to catch a ball when a few of them hit me in the eye and the nose and I realized you might wanna use your mitt, Mike.

And so it is in life, our children are going to stumble and fumble, but we’re there encouraging them, we’re cheering them on, and we’re telling them these will not be stumbling blocks in your life, these will be stepping stones in your life.

We do not beat them up, we do not hold it over their head, we say go to God, get His grace and forgiveness, move forward in your life, because God wants you to reach the aim or the goal that He has for you.

As we lead and prepare our children to make a difference, we must make sure that they… are aimed properly. We must strive to help them by playing defense and offense as moms and dads in that we direct them and we also protect them.

We step in and there’s times we step back and there’s times that we guide and we encourage and there’s times that we cheerlead. But we understand that God has called us to release them and send them to do God’s will.

J. Wilbur Chapman said the real purpose of every home is to shape character for time and for eternity. And so I want to say to all of us no matter where we’re at if we want to help children make a difference that each and every one of us must take the initiative to prepare our children to make that difference.

I want you to know that it’s not going to be easy and it can be hard sometimes and there can be tears and there can be a struggle and it’s sometimes in your mind there is the just give up mentality but don’t.

Stay at it, stay strong, be flexible, be loving, caring, and always seek to honor Christ as you try to impact and influence children for his glory. Well I hope these principles have been impactful upon you and that they are helping you and they give you something to work towards.

We know that there is no perfect mom, there is no perfect. family, we don’t want to put more on you than you think you can bear, but know this, that as we look to God’s word, He continues to call us to excellence, He continues to call us to be all that He wants us to be.

And so I pray that you would receive this message in the tone that it is presented and in the way that it is desired, that you would apply it to your life more as something that will encourage you and give you the inspiration to be better than what you are so that you can be all that God wants you to be, in addition, that you would not take this as a burden and want to quit, but rather that you would see this as a stepping stone in your life and that it would encourage you in your faith.

This is Pastor Mike Sanders reminding you that in Christ there is hope worth having.