The Importance of Maintaining Fellowship When You Disagree Part 1

Pastor Mike will be speaking on The Importance of Maintaining Fellowship When You Disagree Part 1. He will be reading out of Philemon 1:23-24.

God wants us to continue to show grace and to show forgiveness. Who among us has not failed God? The truth is we all find ourselves there. And this is why God is saying that there is restoration and forgiveness and grace.

Hello, this is Pastor Mike Sanders, and we are broadcasting from Chambersburg, Pennsylvania. And this is Hope Worth Having, and we are honored that you have joined us today. We’re going to continue our study in Philemon.

We’ve been studying it verse by verse. We’re down to verse 23 and verse 24. Here’s a tough one, the importance of maintaining fellowship when you disagree.

So you’re not always going to agree with your brothers and sisters in Christ. And the question is, what are you going to do about that? So I want you to open your Bible and join me as we study the Word of God together. If you have your Bible this morning, I want you to join me in the book of Philemon.

And I know sometimes it’s hard to find that book because it is such a small book in the Bible. But if you’ll go to the book of Hebrews, it’s right in front. If you can’t find the book of Hebrews, go to Revelation.

You’ll bump into Hebrews as you go backwards. And there is Philemon as well. We come to the final few verses here of Philemon.

Verse 23 and verse 24 and 25 that we want to share with you this morning. And as you are turning there, I want to talk to you about the importance of maintaining fellowship when you disagree. Now, remember the context of this book.

Remember that Philemon has been implored and he has been instructed by the apostle that he should forgive Onesimus. Onesimus stole from Philemon, most likely money, perhaps maybe some things. And now the apostle has run into Onesimus in jail.

And the apostle, not being a whiner, but a shiner, someone who does not pity himself, but makes the most of what his situation is. He, while in jail, witnesses to Onesimus. Onesimus becomes a believer.

And now the apostle wants to restore this relationship. He wants to restore Onesimus back into the church family and back to Philemon. And so this letter was written with that understanding.

We pick up in verse 23. The scripture says, Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, greets you, as do Mark, Aristocras, Demas, Luke, my fellow laborers. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

Amen. Christian living does not happen in a vacuum. As a matter of fact, the Bible reminds us in Ephesians 4, 25, that we are members of one another.

We sometimes don’t see it that way because we’re Americans and we’re getting ready to celebrate Independence Day. That’s how much we love independence. But yet in the community of faith, in the fellowship of the church, we are called to be connected to one another.

And not only are we called to be connected, but we are reminded that whether we believe it or not, or even behave in that way, we are connected. We are members of one another. So much so that the apostle would say to the church at Rome, that when one rejoices, we should all rejoice.

And when one weeps within the family of God, we should all weep. That’s how interconnected we are as believers. The Bible knows nothing of solitary saints.

It knows nothing of lone ranger Christians. I know that there are many Christians who are lone rangers. They’re not connected to a church.

They’re not connected to a body of believers. They feel like they can live their faith by themselves. They don’t need other people.

That only is a reflection of what is in their hearts. But I remind you today that it is not only beneficial for you and I to fellowship as brothers and sisters in Christ, but it is also mandated. It is mandated in the Bible.

The apostle Paul reminds Philemon of his responsibility. And he brings up in these final few passages, having already implored and beseeched and instructed Philemon to be a man who forgives others. He reminds them of these five men that he has a responsibility to that are within the fellowship of the family of God.

He is extending a greeting on their behalf to Philemon. It is no accident. It is not something that is unintentional or just kind of a afterthought, but rather it is very intentional that the apostle would bring up these particular men.

For he is reminding Philemon in refusing to forgive Onesimus, he would disappoint the hopes and the expectations of the family of God. He is not only disappointing his Lord and Savior who gave his life for Philemon, who himself, meaning Jesus, sacrificially gave his life not because Philemon deserved it or that any of us deserve forgiveness. It is not like Philemon had somehow measured up to be this great person and now he was worthy of the forgiveness of God.

But very much like each of us this morning, we are not worthy of grace, forgiveness, and salvation. But through great love that God has extended to us in that he sent his only begotten Son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life. Not only would Philemon disappoint his heavenly Father, his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, but he would disappoint the church family if he were to hold on to grudges.

If he were to hold on to anger and hate. So in this passage, the apostle brings attention at the end of this letter to these fellow servants. He refers to them in verse 3 as fellow prisoners.

In verse 24, he calls them fellow laborers. They are not only serving with the apostle, but they are suffering with the apostle. They are not only helping him to advance the cause of Jesus Christ, but they are enduring the challenges of prison and jail.

The sufferings of doing without. The sufferings of being unjustly thrown into jail. The suffering of being mischaracterized or even looked down upon by the world.

And so the apostle wants them to be acknowledged. He wants them to be recognized in the church family, but he specifically wants Philemon to know that these men are with him. And these men are serving and suffering with him.

And they are very much aware of the situation. It is perhaps that maybe one of them introduced Onesimus to the apostle. It is perhaps that they originally planted seeds and began to share the gospel.

However it unfolded, we don’t know the details, but we know that the apostle had a team of laborers. Who came together and they served together with their passion of reaching others for the Lord Jesus Christ. The apostle recognizes those who have faithfully stood with him.

And they have not only stood with him, but they have stood beside him in ministry in the advancement of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is a noble person who is able to share some of the limelight. Though many were very much aware of the apostle, they may not have been aware so much of this team or these people who were working behind the scenes.

And so the apostle wants them to be acknowledged in Philemon’s life. And I like what Mark Twain once said, I can go for one month off of just one compliment. And I think that’s so important what we see in the apostle is that he is complimenting these men who have served with him.

Who have served beside him. Who have walked through the tough times with him. And he wants them to be recognized.

Let’s take just a quick understanding of who these individuals are. As he shows appreciation to them and he values them and acknowledges them. He begins to identify them.

And the first person that we see is Epaphras. I want you to see that Epaphras. Which his name means lovely.

Epaphras, you’ve heard that name before. If you’ve been with us, you know that in our study of the book of Colossians. That Epaphras was the pastor of the church.

And remember that Philemon, it was in his home that the church gathered for worship. For Bible study. For prayer.

For communion together. He opened his home to them. And so he would know Epaphras.

He would know about Epaphras. Because he was a man who was deeply devoted to the cause of Jesus Christ. Most likely the founder of the church at Colossae.

We know him to be a man of prayer. Epaphras was a man of prayer. Colossians 4.12 tells us that Epaphras, who is one of you.

A servant of Christ. Saluted you always. Laboring fervently for you in prayer.

That you may stand perfect or mature and complete in all the will of God. There is no greater labor than you and I can do than to pray for one another. And I’ll tell you true prayer is laboring prayer.

True prayer is being willing to reach out to the throne of grace. To seek God on behalf of others. And bringing your supplications to God.

And praying for the needs. And the challenges. And the problems that people have in their life.

And bringing that all before God. Epaphras was that kind of a pastor. He was that kind of a man of God.

He was that kind of a servant who went to God on behalf of others. And he sought them passionately. He was a man who was truly respected in the church.

Philemon would have surely known him. And been under his ministry. And heard him teach the word of God.

Then I want you to know that he introduces to us Marcus. Or in the New King James it says Mark. The word Marcus or Mark means a defense.

Oh this is powerful because you know him as John Mark. You remember that John Mark was the cousin of Barnabas. You remember in Acts 4 and Acts 5 that Barnabas was this encourager.

And he became a quick leader in the church. And that he was a man of means who was able to help the church in its early days. And he was able to be strategic in introducing the Apostle Paul.

Who was formerly known as Saul. And he got converted and he became Paul. And now the people were scared because Saul was a persecutor of the church.

And they thought maybe he’s trying to spy. And maybe he’s trying to come in as somebody different. Maybe he’s trying to trick us.

And Barnabas testified to the authenticity of the Apostle Paul’s conversion. And Barnabas played a valuable role. You remember that in Acts 15.

The Apostle Paul and Barnabas were ready to go on their second missionary journey. And they wanted to go back to the churches. Find out how they’re doing.

And give updates and begin to be an encouragement to them. And they wanted to take this young man. His name was what church? John Mark.

Thank you. Appreciate that one person. Oh buddy, the pastor.

Has so much to do. So much training to teach. But if you recall.

And maybe I’m being presumptuous and please forgive me. But Paul and Barnabas had a disagreement about John Mark. John Mark had quit on the first missionary journey.

He stepped away and said, I’m done. I’m out. The Bible doesn’t tell us why.

We don’t know if he got homesick. We don’t know if there was health problems. We don’t know that he just didn’t enjoy working with Paul because his personality was so strong.

We don’t know. But for whatever reason, he said, I’m out. And he left them high and dry.

And so Paul was very frustrated about that. And when Barnabas said, hey, when we’re putting our team together, don’t forget John Mark. And Paul’s like, that ain’t happening.

This is the Mike Sanders translation, by the way. Just want to let you know. But he said, that’s not going to happen.

And Barnabas and Paul, the Bible says their disagreement was so strong. There was contention between the two. And they decided that they would each go their different ministry.

And they started two missionary teams. And now, look at this. We’re coming to the end of the book of Philemon.

And there is John Mark. He’s back on the team. He’s serving God.

God has restored him. The apostle, listen, why is this so important? Because the apostle Paul is asking Philemon to forgive. And let me tell you something.

You can’t do and you can’t expect or ask people to do what you are not doing yourself. Amen. And so he’s saying, okay, I see John Mark.

And we learn later in 1 Timothy that he’ll say, send me John Mark because he is profitable or beneficial to the ministry. What I’m trying to say to you is that in the context of the church family, God wants us to continue to show grace and to show forgiveness as God is working in the hearts of people. Who among us has not failed God? Who among us has not mishandled something? Who among us has not made a bad choice and a bad decision and it reflected upon the ministry poorly? The truth is we all find ourselves there.

And this is why God is saying that there is restoration and there is forgiveness and grace. And in the context of when you and I disagree, I know it’s hard to believe, but we just might actually disagree. But how is it that we’re going to handle this? Are we just going to run from one church to the next and thinking, go that next church down the street.

They don’t have any conflicts. Everybody in that church agrees with everybody. They’re always working together and they never have personality conflicts.

Are we going to be of that mindset? Is that the truth? Is that how it works? No, the truth is no matter where you go, people are different. And no matter where you go, you find these sandpaper people. You heard about these people? You heard about these people? They rub you the wrong way and they keep showing up in my life.

And I say, Lord, why are there so many sandpaper people everywhere I go? Try to say that fast, right? Sandpaper people, people eater. Anyways, just kidding. Oh my, get back focused.

Stick with your notes, right? But I want you to know that the Lord has a purpose and the Lord has a plan. And there are many areas in Mike’s life that need to be smoothed out. They need to be dealt with those rough edges.

And so God uses these sandpaper people to make me more like Christ. That’s why I’m saying to you the importance of maintaining fellowship when you disagree. Philemon can’t just abandon the church and he can’t just say, I’m not going to have anything to do with Onesimus.

There has to be this restoration that God is at work. And Mark, John Mark, is a living example. And guess who wrote the Gospel of Mark? My questions are easy, church.

John Mark. That God would use this young man who abandoned the first missionary trip and then restore him through the mentoring of Barnabas and reconnect him back into the church family and get him back on the apostles team. And then he is used by God to pin down the inspired, inerrant, infallible word of God.

My friends, the importance of maintaining fellowship when you disagree. You’ll note the next person that is listed, Aristarchus. His name means the best ruler.

He was a Jewish believer. You can read more about it in Colossians 4. He was a native of Thessalonica. And he was a man who wouldn’t leave you when the chips are down.

He was with the apostle at the riot in Acts chapter 19. He was with the apostle when they were in the shipwreck in Acts chapter 27. Church, we were just there in the book of Acts together.

And we were studying the whole book of Acts. And it took us a long time to get through the book of Acts. But you remember that this horrible shipwreck happened.

But what did Aristarchus do? He stayed. You know, it’s easy to run from problems. But it’s far better to work through problems.

In the family of God, you’ll have more joy and you’ll have more strength when you don’t run from your problems and you don’t burn bridges and you don’t isolate yourself from others than to work through your problems. When I’m trying to help couples who are struggling in their marriages, I say it’s far better. The joy will be sweeter at the end of the marriage that you work through your difficulties rather than running from your problems.

God’s anointing is in that place where we work through our issues and we don’t abandon each other in the tough times. I get so discouraged by members who run from other churches just because that church is having a season of difficulty, walking through a valley, and members begin to disperse and leave and say, we want to go somewhere else. No, my friends, I love the people that are here and they’re here in the good times.

They’re here in the bad times. They’re here when the pastor’s bringing his A game and they’re here when the pastor is miserably messing things up. Amen? Now you can say amen better than that, can’t you? I want to remind you, I know it’s probably hard for you guys to imagine, but I umpire softball.

And so when we start out the game, I pull the two coaches together at home plate and I do what they train me to do, preventive maintenance. Preventive maintenance. And I tell them up front, I want you guys to understand something.

Sometimes it’s ladies. And I say, coaches, I know this is going to be hard to believe, but I’m not perfect. And they just look at me and startle, struck.

They cannot believe it. I’m not perfect. And I tell them, if they have any doubts, just give my wife a call and she’ll let them know.

Amen? But I remind them, I’m probably going to make a mistake in this game, but we can handle it like adults. We can handle it like mature people. And what I’m saying to you is that what I love about Aristocris, maybe everything wasn’t going great.

Maybe everything wasn’t like he thought it should be. Or maybe he felt like some of these challenges were tough, but he did not abandon the team or the apostle in sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ. Which leads us to our next person, Demas.

Here, at this moment, as the apostle is writing this letter, apparently Demas is a faithful servant of God. But for Demas, who means governor of the people, he did not finish well. He did not finish strong.

For we know in the scriptures in 2 Timothy 4.10, the Bible reminds us that the apostle says, Demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world, and has departed to Thessalonica. Goes on to describe where he’s at and what’s next steps, but point being is simply this. Are you finishing strong for Christ? What is most startling for me as a pastor is to think about how many people who are still living their life in fear, who are still scared, who are still saying to themselves, well, you know, during COVID, I didn’t go to church, and I’m just going to never go back.

Listen to me, my friends. It’s time to rise above. It’s time to give your eyes on Jesus Christ.

If it’s your time to check out, God will let you know. If it’s not, you’ll overcome, and you’ll continue to move forward. But what we can’t do, church, is be like Demas and fall flat on our face.

It’s not enough for you just to begin for Christ. The question is how will you finish for Jesus? What will be your legacy to your children, and what will be your legacy to your grandchildren? Will you finish strong for Christ? Will they be able to testify at your funeral service that grandpa and grandma or mom and dad would not retreat, and they kept plowing forward for Jesus Christ, and they finished strong for the Lord? Or will it be a testimony of embarrassment, a testimony of, well, they did a few nice things, and they always bought me a candy? Or will your testimony of Christ shine through your life? I want to challenge you, church, to be strong for Christ, and the key is not to get distracted in this world, not to love the things of this world, not to be pulled by the things of this world. We all have within our human sinful nature a tug towards the world, but the Bible teaches us that we are not to love the world nor the things of the world, but we need to keep our love and our affection and our focus upon the Lord, Jesus Christ.

And that’s the importance of fellowship. You might say, oh, Mike, it’s not a big deal that I come to church. It’s not a big deal that I’m fellowshipping with God’s people and that I’m connected into Sunday school or I’m connected into a Bible study.

None of that matters, Mike. I just want to live my faith in isolation. And I want to tell you, yeah, I’m not saying you can’t be a Christian and worship God by yourself, but let me tell you something.

As I told the church on Wednesday, is that I can eat Thanksgiving dinner by myself, but it’s a lot better when family’s with me. I can eat dinner at night, but it’s a lot better when my wife is with me. Do you understand? And some of you have lost your spouse or you’ve lost loved ones in your life and you know what it’s like to have an empty chair.

And let me tell you, when we spiritually gather for the Lord, it means so much to see you here. And the importance of fellowship is that we’re all feasting on the Word, we’re all feasting on the truth, we’re all feasting on what God has for us, and we’re hearing the Word of God taught and God is pouring into our life and God is transforming us and shaping our hearts for Christ and it is wonderful. And listen, by me being here, if I’m not here, people are saying, where’s the pastor? Thank you.

It’s nice to be noticed every once in a while. Where’s the pastor? You know what I’m saying? You heard about the guy who was all curled up and said he didn’t want to go to church and his wife said, you have to go to church. He said, I don’t want to.

She said, you’re the pastor, you have to go to church. Amen? But listen, not only does the pastor, you all have to be, you know what? When we don’t see our brothers and sisters in Christ, we need to say something, we need to pick up the phone and now you got this fancy phone that you could text people, you can email people, you can talk to people. Are you doing okay? Look, I know some of you like to move around.

I know who’s here and who’s not here by where you sit. Did you know that? And I know that and I see empty spots sometimes and I say, where were you? And they said, pastor, we were there. And I said, well, where were you? I didn’t see you.

They said, oh, we decided to move on the other side of the church auditorium. Now don’t be messing with my mind. I mean, it took me 20 years to get here to figure out who you are and where you’re sitting, right? And now you’re moving on me, playing tricks on me.

I hear you, but listen, when our brothers and sisters aren’t around and we don’t see them, we need to be reaching out to them because there’s the importance of fellowship, there’s the accountability of each other and there is that we are members and it may be if somebody’s struggling or needs help or something, we need to make sure and if they’re just on vacation, we can say, why didn’t you take us? One thing is constant, Christians can’t agree. Are we going to run every time we disagree? Are we going to continue to live in hate, bitterness and anger? Or are we going to work through it emotionally, spiritually, through the grace of God? And I think the Lord wants us to do that. I don’t think that he wants us to run to another church.

I mean, I understand there’s churches that don’t teach the Bible and that’s different, but I’m not going to run to another church. I’m talking about somebody hurt your feelings and now you’re going to run to another church. We got to be better and we got to be stronger and we know that God wants us to forgive one another.

I think the scriptures are clear. And that’s what Paul’s saying to Philemon is receive this brother back into the fellowship, forgive him and let’s move forward together. I want you to think about what we’ve been teaching today and may it encourage you in your walk with Christ.

Now, Hope Worth Having, believe it or not, we’re on social media, we’re on Facebook, X, Instagram. So check out these different platforms and like us and you can continue to see how we try to use these platforms to encourage us and our walk with Christ and to help us to be stronger for him. So I pray that you’ll take advantage of that.

This is Pastor Mike Sanders reminding you that in Christ, there is hope worth having.